1000 Reasons to Stay

This week has been a mixed bag of feelings. The concept of moving is becoming more and more concrete every day. Yet the reasons to stay become more continuous.

This weekend Lisa and I went out to catch Tommy's karaoke show. It was pure torture. I guess that's what karaoke all about though. It was 80% off key country music with a few shining exceptions of really stand out singers with really good voices.

Regardless I had a great time with Sandi and Tommy. I really love those two and don't get to see them enough.

Along with all my other friends and nodding acquaintances from the karaoke show, and Facebook, and 39 years of passing them in traffic. I'm not what you would call a social butterfly, but I do enjoy my short conversations with them.

This got me thinking of all people that I will miss when I leave. Folks I have worked with. A few of the kids I went to school with. My friends from the hippy/artist circles I used to run in.

But most of all my core family. I will miss my niece Rachel growing up. The little milestones, the macaroni art, and the "trace your hand" turkeys. I'm sure I'll have plenty of that sort stuff from GoGo, but I will miss it from Rachel.

Also my niece Alexis. I've already watched her grow into a fine young woman and I couldn't be prouder. She has herself a nice boyfriend and the two of them seem to be building a good life together.

Then the second part of my weekend happened. I'm going to refrain from using any names. As to not be tellin' tales out school( if can figure out who this is from context clues, you more than likely already know the story).

 A friend of mine, whom I love like my own daughter was caught in a domestic violence situation. Her boyfriend's father (with whom they were living along with their infant daughter) came home drunk and began beating his son.

I received a frantic message pleading for help and I was out the door. They live nearby and I was there in a flash.

As I arrived the father was being hauled out to a cop car in handcuffs by two sheriffs and his son was in the back if an ambulance. He was never so lucky to be police custody. Had I been a few minutes earlier he would have been in the back of the ambulance and I would of been going to jail.

His son had minor injuries. He was treated and released. My "daughter" and "grandbaby" were not injured in the attack although it was traumatic for both of them.

After I made sure the kids were alright and taken care of, I stood outside the cop car, with windows rolled up, the cowardly excuse for a father cuffed in the back. I spoke sternly but quietly and told him "Remember this face." I took my hat off so he could get a good look at me.   "These kids are under my protection. If you ever see this face again it may well be the last thing you ever see." as I put my two fists together and made a snapping motion like I was breaking a stick. I believe he understood the message I was conveying. For the time being these three kids are staying with me.

One of favorite pictures of my Uncle Mike is of him standing in front of his three baby sisters. Hulked up with am expression on his face like "If you mess with them, you gotta go through me." That's how I was raised. Real men protect their family.

One of my favorite role models.

If there's one thing I can't abide is a bully. I was bullied most of my life in school because I couldn't afford the popular jeans, or didn't live in the snooty neighborhood.  It bothered me until I realized I was bigger than most of my bullies and started to stand up to them. After that I gained an air of confidence that said "Don't mess with me" and the bullying soon stopped.

But I could never imagine being bullied by my own father. Don't get me wrong, Dad whooped my ass when it was called for. And to this day I know you don't play the bongos with the sharp end of a pencil. But I was never abused. A father is supposed to protect his family and I can't imagine it the other way around.

If you find yourself in a domestic violence situation as quickly and safely as possible, get out. Someone will help you. If not a friend or family member, seek out an abuse hot line or a member of the clergy. There are resources out and you deserve better than that. Don't cover up for them or tell yourself it will get better. It won't.

If you are an abuser, you should seek out the same resources. Just because that's how you were raised doesn't mean you can't break the cycle.

If not, before you pick on someone smaller than you, try picking on someone my size.

These people and hundreds of other are among the reasons I will find it hard to leave this place. Yet I know that heading home is in the best interest of me and my family.