But this post is not intended to be about his death, this post is about his life. His life in his own words.
While cleaning out one of his many computers ( mainly looking for photos and his Barbecue sauce recipe ) I came across a file titled "My Story". I opened the document and it was a letter to one of his many online girlfriends.
Pops was always very open in his personal life and even more so in his love life. He didn't have many secrets, but the ones he had he kept well. This letter contained some of those secrets. I feel he kept these secrets because he thought they may tarnish some people's image of him and they would be hurt by them. I know he was not ashamed of them, as probably the biggest one of them, he shared with me 20 some odd years ago. He told me about it as I faced the biggest dilemma of my life. Not to solve my problem, rather to let me know that I was not alone.
In respect for my Dad's wishes, I have edited this letter, taking out the parts that are not common knowledge or may hurt the ones he cared for. I will however make the whole and complete letter available to a select few persons that I feel he would want to see it. They simply need to ask. If you ask and I turn you down please don't feel bad. Just know he loved you and wouldn't want hurt you or someone you love.
Without farther ado our guest writer from the beyond,
Ron Wright
My Story
I promised you a short bio of myself so here goes:
I was born the son of a poor black sharecropper... Oops, that was Steve
Martin. I was born Feb. 23, 1942, World War II was in full swing, Benny Goodman
was still alive. Television had been invented, but there were no
broadcasts. I don't really remember any of this, I was young at the time. My family
lived on a farm South of Kansas City near a little town 5,000 people, called
Osawatomie. If you know anything about the Civil War, that was the home of
the abolitionist John Brown. "John Brown's body lies a molding in the grave."
Kansas is a small piece of hell that pushed itself up out of the bowels of
the Earth. In the summer, temps over 100 are not uncommon and during the
winter, minus 20 are a very occasional occurrence. 50 miles West of where I was
born, the landscape is flat and without distinguishing characteristics.
After the dust bowl, Steinbeck's Grapes of Wrath, they have planted a few trees
in the Western parts of the state. I started school too early, at barely
five, I started first grade. It was a one room school, they needed ten students
to start and I was the next eldest in the district. It was cool then, I was
a big boy, and besides, I had a crush on my teacher. She too was a
beautiful redhead. I still have a lump on my forehead because she hit me with a
baseball bat. We were playing baseball, she was batting and I was catching. I
was standing too close, probably trying to look up her skirt (giggles), and
she clobbered me.
In 1949, my father started working for the city, managing the waste
disposal plant. Through home study he received a civil engineering degree from KU.
When I was in fifth grade, the city made a rule that all their employees had
to live within the city limits. We moved to town. I had always played by
myself, that was a new experience. I started working when I was 12 years old,
I took a paper route. At that time I started paying my parents rent 25% of
what I made. Started saving my money bought a bike and took another route. By
the time I graduated high school I was delivering the KC Star for most of
the town. You can't do that today, child labor laws. You are not allowed to
teach your kids responsibility and values.
I was a good student until high school, but the redundancy of that training
was self defeating. I already knew that they wanted me to say that Columbus
discovered America. I also knew it wasn't true. I knew how to conjugate a
verb and diagram a sentence. In Junior English I wrote a paper saying that
Custer was not a hero, in fact he was an arrogant fool and received a D- only
because it was well written. The teacher disagreed with my views. I was so
glad that I didn't write that maybe Lief Ericson or even the Egyptians were
Chris Colombo's predecessors by centuries. All through High School, I never
took a book home. I graduated 56 in a class of 58 because of the validity of
my tests and classroom discussions. The last IQ test I took gave me a score
of 146, and said I store useless information. For instance, to write the
numeral 1 in Egyptian hieroglyphics, you draw a stick. Add another four 2 and
so on until 5 is drawn as a frog. The figure for one million is a man with
upstretched arms.
While in high school i rarely dated, I was too busy working to have time
for girls. After high school, I dated a girl that had pursued me for a long
time. At first I felt sorry for her, she was a very pretty girl but had a
large strawberry birthmark around her left eye. We discovered sex together. That
was a real mess, two virgins attempting copulation in the backseat of a '50
Ford. We broke up shortly after that, premarital sex was very much frowned
upon then, and the guilt trip was terrible. After our breakup, I had saved
some money and left to travel around. I would drive until I was nearly out of
money then work and save and travel some more. I have been to all the
states except Maine, to Canada and South as far as Honduras.
I returned to Kansas, I knew better by that time of course, but that is
where my family was then. I applied for nurses training at KU Med Center in
Kansas City and was accepted for the next year. During the time I was waiting,
I met my first wife and dropped those plans. At that time, nursing students
could be married only in a few schools. "Living in sin" was even worse. She
was having trouble with her tuition and we agreed that I would take care of
them, and that I would start college after she graduated. We were married a
year later.
I enrolled at Kansas State Teachers College with psychology and art as
majors. I was there 2 years. Money was tight in the middle of the second year
and I started working part time at a gasoline station. Within 6 months I was
offered the job as manager at another location about 150 miles away. I
compared the salary offered against that of a baccalaureate in psychology, it was
about twice in favor of the gas station. We needed money so I accepted. Bad
decision, that company went bankrupt two years later.
For most of this time, I had been very conservative politically, but when
Pres. Kennedy was shot, I started to change. The college exposed me to more
liberal views, until, by the time the Beatles invaded New York, I had made an
almost complete reversal. When the gasoline company went belly up, I
started a small sign painting company. I had been doing a few for a few friends,
pin striping cars, things like that. I did a large job for a furniture
company that had a large fleet, designing a new logo and applying it to all their
trucks. The president of the company liked what I did and asked if I could
do his newspaper ads. My reply was, "No, but I know someone who can." I was
hired. Shortly after that, another new client asked me if I could do his
radio ads. I gave him the same answer. The same happened with television until I
had a complete advertising agency. Because their was no modelng agency in
the whole state, and I needed models to perform in the ads, I had to start
one of those too. Soon we were placing musicians, actors, I even at one time
had 6 go go dancers working for me. At that time, they were dancers and only
stripped if they wanted to. I had a band called Ghengis Khan and the Horde
performing mostly in the Eastern part of the state and Western Missouri. The
leader was a skinny blonde kid who had often hinted that he was running from
the law. I learned later that he had stolen some amps and guitars to start
a band. He came to me one day and said that he was going to go back home,
meet some friends and start a new band. He wanted me to go along and manage
them. I told him I had my business, my family, I couldn't leave. He didn't go
home, it was still too hot because of the guitat and amp thing, so he went
to Louisiana. There he changed his name from Jim Mungrum to Jim Dandy. The
town he was originally headed to was Black Oak Arkansas. I just learned he is
trying to start a new tour with two of the original members.
All this happened in about 3 years, it grew too fast, and I was still pain
ting signs, because I liked doing it. The cost of the print room, sound
studios and TV stages was overhead I really couldn't afford. Vietnam was growing
in intensity, Patty Hearst was making news, Charlie Manson was stirring
things in the Southwest. A doctor told me I had inhaled too many paint fumes and
I should sell the business. I sold it to my employees and it is still
going, the only ad agency in Western Kansas. I didn't really start it, it just
happened. I took a job as a salesman, but was really an activist at heart.
I joined several groups, NORML, SDS, NAACP, etc. became involved in voter
registration, most of the hippy things. I'm still a hippy at heart, and think
that many of the things we fought for were right. My absolutely favorite
song is J. Lennon's, Imagine. The problem as I can see it is that we simply
can't get everyone to be reasonable. There will always be someone who wants to
be a Hitler, or a Ted Bundy or David Duke. This does not mean we were
wrong, we were correct, but ignorant of all the facts. There were even some that
incorporated Manson and the SLA into our ranks. There will always be
injustice, and there is no real answer. What is right for me might be wrong for
you. Tolerance is the key. Okay enough soap boxin'.
We moved to Florida in 1972 after Kaye was offered a job here. Here, I
worked both as a photographer and in circulation for the local newspaper. It was
at the newspaper that I met Viv. You already know that story, at least
closely enough. The story in ES was essentially factful. Shortly after that
night, Kaye and I were divorced. We had drifted apart, and were only in like
with each other. She is still a good friend. I am proud of the fact that with
the exception of Viv, I can go back to visit any of the women I have ever
been with.
After Viv and I had been married only a few months, and our department at
the newspaper had been eliminated, I learned that my mother had terminal
cancer. I moved her, her 2 kids and 1 of mine back to Kansas to care for her.
She died in August of 1982. During her last months, I changed her bed, bathed
her, all the thing a home care nurse would do. Believe me darlin', your job
is hard, but 100 times harder for a family member. But I would have made a
good nurse if my life had gone that way. Once Kaye was exposed to something
and had to take gama globulin. I was instructed in the procedure and did a
little home care there too. She still talks about how good I became and would
prefer me over most others when she needs a hypo. Sorry, I started rambling.
MY father died in February the next year. He had had angina for years, and
came by my house after work. Yes, the whole family likes to work, and he did
the day he died. He had retired from his job at the city, but within 2
months, he had a part time job as a clerk in a liquor store. When he arrived, he
did not come in, just sat in the car. When I noticed, I went out
immediately, asked him what was wrong. He told me that he had just had an attack of
angina and that he had taken his nitro and was feeling better. I tried to get
him to come in the house, we were going to his house later that night. I
went to visit him at every other day, prepared a meal for him, and made sure
there were left overs before I left. He argued that we should not change our
plans, and be at his house at the appointed time. When I arrived, he was dead.
We had bought a house, and had developed some ties there, so Viv and I
started a bridal business. We had several designers lined up and if nothing was
liked by the customer, I could design a custom dress and Viv did the sewing.
I also had a photo studio. Life was good. Then we learned our landlord was
selling the store front. There was no where in our small town to move we had
to close shop.
Viv cheated on me throughout our marriage. Toward the end
of the marriage, I told her she was sleeping with every man in town. Her
reply was, "It's a small town." fidelity is very important to me, and after
admitting to the affair in my first marriage, I learned my lesson. I did not
stray with her at all. After our divorce, I moved back to Florida, to be near
my children, and have been here since. That was 1989.
I dated a little since my return, but it was such a hassle and every woman
I met was filled with cupidity. I don't like the times we live in, greed and
disdain of things of true value have clouded our vision for the things that
really matter. Frankly, I am surprised that you have shown me none of those
foul qualities. I gave up, and have been celibate for more that 8 years.
And, I have enjoyed my solitude. Recently, I realized that there is an extreme
difference between alone and lonely, and that I have become the latter. I
searched the net, and started writing to a lady in Ukraine. She seemed to
have all the qualities I was looking for in a mate, but that is another
story.You have sixty years condensed into maybe twenty minutes tops of reading.
There is more, kids grand kids, hobbies, etc. but this should keep you busy for
a while. If you want more, ask and ye shall recieve.
I am Ron
 |
| Dad, Robert, Alexis, Danielle. |
I've been told that I look like my namesake Grandpa Scott. I have also been told I that I look like my Uncle Mike. I can see the resemblance in both and regard those comparisons as the highest of complements. But when I look in the mirror I see my Dad's face. I credit him for the person I am today, both by example and genetically and I thank him for that.
By most accounts he was a fairly ordinary man. But to me he was a great dad.
About all I can say is Happy Birthday Pops. Miss you.
I am Scott
